This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
