I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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