Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
