I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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