Ambien. No doubt about it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I am midnight drunk by noon
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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