Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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