I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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