Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
