This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
