Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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