please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
