absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
