...so i touched it.
do herpes really smell.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
