you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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