Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
