SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
