Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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