1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dick very happy bro
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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