so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
