Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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