Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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