why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
