i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
