So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My life is pants optional.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
