I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
