The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
