The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
