Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize