I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
