hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
