I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm at about main and main street
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize