No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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