A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
