So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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