Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
youre lurking in front of me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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