Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize