Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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