OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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