If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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