So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
