In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
