real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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