im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
