we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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