Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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