wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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