I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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