We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
