I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize