HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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