I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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