I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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