I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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