they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize