dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
