would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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