bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
