Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
