apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
