she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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