the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
