hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im part way to drunk.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
