I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
