Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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