We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I forget how to act sober
Randomize